Much has been written lately about the size of celebrity divorce payouts, especially when the marriage has only lasted a few years. To quote Lady Deech, chair of the Bar Standards Board.
"The message that's going out is marry a footballer, marry a banker, stick it out for a few years and your lifestyle will always be on that level". Now not everyone can find a footballer and become the W in WAGS. However, if you can then why not. It's not just wives, husbands can do it too. Under current divorce law you could do very well for very little effort.
Big divorce settlements
Ask Heather Mills, £24m (OK, so Paul McCartney isn't a footballer, I believe he played in quite a good band a long time ago) or Guy Ritchie, £50m (isn't Madonna the mother of somebody really famous?). Now that's a great way to get a really good life after divorce!
Reasons for divorce
Ending the marriage is really easy, no need to worry about the reasons for divorce, that's not a problem. You really don't need one. The best divorce advice is to make up some reasonably credible stuff about how your wife/husband behaved towards you and call it "unreasonable behaviour". It's the only reason for divorce you are ever going to need. Just for the record here's the full list:
a. Adultery
b. Unreasonable behaviour
c. Desertion
d. Two years separation with consent
e. Five years separation without consent
Most people go for "unreasonable" behaviour as you will not have to prove anything and your allegations will rarely even be challenged.
A fairer way of dividing the dosh
It has been suggested that judges should only consider splitting assets that have been acquired after the marriage and not those from before the marriage. This could make a big difference especially to marriages of a short duration. If this applied to pensions and inheritances then this would make a difference to most divorce settlements. Sounds like a good idea to me.
The split of the money on divorce (after the children have been taken care of) is usually 50/50. In many divorces this leaves both of you with a lot less than you thought it would. It's the issue over which the biggest fights take place.
The universal truth is that whether you thought you we going to get £15m and you only got £12m or you wanted the car and ended up with the lawnmower both of you are going to think he/she was totally unfair. Each side of a divorce thinks the other got far more of the dosh than they deserved.
Best advice
The best advice has to be to find a footballer, a banker (yes, bonuses are back) or even an ageing rock star and keep a hot shot lawyer ready to pounce, with the speed of a cheetah and the fighting instincts of a pit bull, at a moment's notice. Then lie back and just hope the law doesn't change for a few years. And when you've got your wedge don't forget you will need an IFA to help plan your bright new life after divorce.