Why I hear you ask, or was that the other voice in my head? Well lets start of from the other end of this very interesting but slightly misunderstood human subject. Let us call it the 'MatingMessUp'
hey so there we go again another high profile divorce in the offing and everyone suddenly pops up as an expert on the subject. I refer of course to Madge and her wife beating hubby (allegedly). But, when oh when are we men going to realise and admit that its all down to us...yup you hear right, this is a man admitting that HE was the reason for his wife asking him to leave, no "Oh she didn't understand me, or we married to young or work got in the way or a million other lame assed excuses that we read about every day. Nope this one (as I dare say are most) was down to me....
You see first off, we need to understand why men and women even want to get together in the first place. I mean, it can't just be about the overriding animal need to procreate, can it? Well bad news, I'm afraid that is the only reason men and women need each other. The other reasons, companionship, some one to talk to, my other half, a reason to live, she is good with figures, he gets things done are wants, not needs.
At the end of the day the whole point of any mammals existence is to survive and we are no exception. But this doesn't mean that we shouldn't be together but without understanding this fully, we are in my opinion doomed to constant failure in our constant search for that elusive Mr or Mrs Right.
However once we understand the difference between 'want' and 'need', life can actually get far more interesting for both parties.
I subscribe to a guy called, Pat Mensiti's self help program and relationships is one of the things he talks about. He says, ' We shouldn't look to someone else to look after us, ever. But rather what we should say is this, 'I'll look after me for you, if you look after you for me' Sounds cool yeh, in other words You take the best care of yourself and in doing so, you will be the best you can be and I will do the same. In doing so, we will be the best we can both be and be stronger because of it.
So what does a man want from a woman and vice versa. Well heres a list, men first:
Men
Companion ship, trust, understanding, someone to dance naked with in the rain (yeh I know!!, made me laugh to), someone to bounce ideas off, someone who will take a risk now and again, someone dependable, forthright, someone who says what she feels, a whore in the bedroom and a great cook.
Women
All of the above except the risk and and whore bit.... lol
The thing is the girls generally want the same things as a its just they don't tell us. We are supposed to 'know....duh makes sense right. Hold on a minute, a man 'knowing' something. Come on honey most men know nothing when it comes to women..... yeh that right...'nothing' nada, zip, squidly, nufink...!!
I mean to say lets look at my own education into the fairer sex. Aged 11-16 Public school, porn and living with 30 testosterone infused males, over bearing mother. 16-19 Beer, rugby and thinking about sex alot.... 19-25 Army more beer, f***k me a shed load more beer, porn, some shagging, wanking alot, more porn, more beer.....killing things..... mmmm great grounding??!! 25-40 married with 1 child, occasional sex with her indoors, work, work, bills, wanking, and illicite affairs..... crap huh??
Ok so lets say most men, oooh ,maybe 90% have this or a similar upbringing, so its not looking to good so far for a... . Healthy relationship, born out of trust, mutual understanding and dare is say it a healthy sex life where both participants actually, like each other.
So this doesn't leave a great deal of men that who have either. a) Had a healthy upbringing, with a man (notice i say man here) who has educated them in the ways of the female Phsychi or b) realised that they need to get some education in this dept and done what it takes to get that education....... er thats me folks..!!
You see as I see it, its NOT women that are at fault, although what we seem to have now is a whole load of very strong women (nothing wrong with that by the way) and a ton of really wussy men. Guys like pre-Me or guys that where bought up by their mothers (alone) and are totally unaware of their responsibilities, as men. In some cases these 'men' still live with their Mums, or have found women who are just like their Mum and are looked after in the same way, albeit as adults.
But, and this is a huge BUT. For any men reading this it is not up to women to tell you how you should be, its up to YOU to go out there and find the knowledge that helps you be the man that so MANY women are looking for. Someone who can, make a decision, flirt, make great conversation without talking about themselves all night, stand up for what is right, act on their instincts, be there for a woman and not look upon sex as some sort of dual. Last man standing wins!!...lol To name but a few on what is a very very very long list.
Ok well this has been me, well sharing something of me. If anyone would care to comment it would be great to gear from you and be good to each other. We are all we have...
tim