Read our dating advice for divorced men and women if you are returning to the dating scene since getting divorced. You will probably need as much help as you can get to negotiate it without damage to yourself or others!
Be aware
Being aware of your personal safety must be top on your list of priorities and this advice applies to men as well as women. Use your common sense and follow these rules to make the most of those post divorce dates.
Check online
If you are off to meet someone you have met on an internet dating site then try to find out as much as you can about them beforehand by ‘Googling’ them. Look up any details they may unwittingly have let drop such as where they went to school, any nicknames they may have had, places they have worked etc.
Dress down
Dressing modestly on a first date is very important. Tone yourself down as it is better not to raise unrealistic hopes in the other person by flaunting your ‘assets’. By dressing modestly your date will be able to relax and pay attention to you if they are not worrying about the possibility of you coming on strong before the end of your time together or who, conversely, may be disappointed if you don’t make a move on them as those bottom hugging jeans may have suggested.
Tell someone else where you are going and what you are doing when you go to meet someone for the first time or…
Take a friend
If you feel really uncomfortable about going on your own for a first meeting with someone - which is understandable if all this is new to you since getting divorced - then you could think about arranging a double date with a friend. This means you get support from someone else as well as possibly being more fun and if things go well between you and your date then your friend can make discreet excuses and leave you alone with your post divorce date to get on with things.
Meet in public
Always arrange a first rendezvous in a public place where there will be plenty of other people around. Make contact with the waiter or waitress so that whoever you’re with can be identified or arrange to have a couple of chums at the table next to you. Meeting for lunch or dinner is better than an evening date if you are the nervous type or at all concerned about your safety.
Trust your instincts
Your intuition is a valuable tool so take careful note of your date’s relationship history. Is the other person really interested in you or are they just after one thing?
Drinking
There is a world of difference between having a couple of drinks in order to relax and get things going with your date and drinking to excess which can adversely affect your state of mind, your morals and lead to regret the following day.
Money
Be aware of any date who asks you to lend them money no matter how plausible their story. Leave at the first possible opportunity. If you met them through a reputable dating site or an introductions agency then you should let them know.
Emergency get out
As a last ditch backup if things do not go the way you want them to then pre arrange with a friend to call you at a specified time. Take the call away from your date and on your return announce a family emergency and get the hell out of there as fast as you can.